Ode To My Sunshine.
You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy,
when skies are grey. So, please don’t take my sunshine away.
Dearest Faithful Sidekick,
You
were a purposeful decision. A well- meant occurrence in my history. A tenacity
of flutter in moving wings to exert power into this thermally intricate and
dynamic planet. You were to be cared in gentled, paired hands, and painted with
deliberant procession…
You were a pale and
perfect package.
Not a trace of wrong.
Organically and newly beautiful…
Perfect shaped lips and a curved soft tongue.
Never a cry, unless
it was a necessary need.
And as I watch you now and see the short, but winding path
you have crawled, stepped, walked, and now run from… You are a perfected
package. Undamaged from the toiling sun and the toxic air that is breathed to
you…
And, I writhe in guilt when I see you. You’re once stainless
face, as it’s being sun- kissed from the searing sun, has collected a freckle,
here and there… Keeping your just right- shaped nose company and distracts your
deliberately placed dimple in your right cheek…
I want you to stay that perfect, pale package we created...
So sweet and silly
you are- a complete contrast to the complicated and confounding life we live.
There is a gleeful bounce to which every step you take. An
electric pulse you give me when you touch me with your petal soft hands… Your
carefree chuckles are so warming and welcoming to my weather- beaten soul…
A second chance…
A second chance, at:
my childhood,
my mistakes,
my fears,
my ill- feelings,
and my insecurities…
I love thee, little muneca… My perfect, pale, porcelain
doll.
You are:
my life,
my saving hope,
my rhyme and poem,
and my greatest creation…
I am proud. I am proud to be your mother.
I am sorry for being lofty and nonexistent at times.
I am sorry for giving your more or less, most of the time
less of me.
One day, maybe I will get this right.
And, I hope you will never look at me with wisdom drunken
eyes and see all my sinful flaws and imperfections, and feel humiliating
disgrace. But most importantly, that you will see the broken and glue-stained
cracks of my blemished character and love me as much as I will love thee.
I hope you see me as
clearly as I see and love you, my
darling darling…
My perfect
perfection.
My lovely love.
My hopeful happiness.
I love you.
A blessed Mom.
March 2014.
